And in 3, 2...

[Interviewer] We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman
[Natalie] Hello.
[I] So Natalie, what's a day in the life of Natalie Portman like?
[N] Do you really wanna know?
[I] Please, tell us.

[Natalie Portman]
I don't sleep [bad word] off that yak and a durban
Doin 120 gettin head while I'm swervin
 [bad word] Natalie, you a crazy chick)
Yo, shut the [bad word] up and suck my [bad word] I'm bustin dudes mouths like gushers [bad word] Pull up on NBC and smack the [bad word] outta Jeff Zucker
What you want Natalie? (To drink and fight!)
What you need Natalie? (To [bad word] all night!)
Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane glue
Put my foot down your throat til your [bad word] in my shoe
Leave you screamin, pay for my dry-cleanin [bad word] your man it's my name that he's screamin!

[I] I'm sorry Natalie, are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated?
[N] I never said I was a role model
[I] But, what about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?

[Natalie Portman]
All the kids lookin up to me can suck my [bad word] It's Portman [bad word]  drink til I'm sick
Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry; while I laugh, you die
And to all the dudes, you know I'm talkin to you
(We love you Natalie!) I wanna [bad word] you too!
(P!) It's for Portman! (P!) It's for [bad word] I'll kill your [bad word] dog for fun, so don't push me (hahaha..)

[I] Well Natalie, I'm surprised, all this from a Harvard graduate?
[N] Well, there's a lot you may not know about me
[I] Really, such as?

[Natalie Portman]
When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday
I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
I gotta def posse, you gotta lot of dudes
I sit right down on your face and take a [bad word] 
[The Lonely Island]
Natalie, you are a bad [bad word] [bad word]  [bad word] yeah~!)
And I'll always pay for your dry-cleanin
When my [bad word] gets in your shoe (What!) as for the [bad word] use
Well I can't vouch for that, my [bad word] is scared of you (ooh)

[Outro]
[I] Hoky dok... Natalie, one final question. If you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood who would it... (Sound of chair being broken over the interviewer's head)
[N] No more questions

What!