I like apple pie
And you like banoffee
We both love shopping for furniture
And meeting for coffee
We pretend we're into art galleries
'Cause it makes us feel clever
We're both in our element when we're on our knees
Whatever the weather

I could be your [bad word] hag
And you could be my [bad word] I'll never make you feel sad
When [bad word] out to play
I could be your [bad word] hag
And you could be my [bad word] I'll never make you feel sad
When [bad word] out to play

We don't give a f*ck
What people are thinking
I know you'll always look out for me
When we go out drinking
I can ask you things I can't ask anyone
And you'll give me direction
Apart from me, you're the only other person I know
Who reads the travel section

I could be your [bad word] hag
And you could be my [bad word] I'll never make you feel sad
When [bad word] out to play
I could be your [bad word] hag
And you could be my [bad word] I'll never make you feel sad
When [bad word] out to play

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Be my [bad word] Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I could be your [bad word] hag
And you could be my [bad word] I'll never make you feel sad
When [bad word] out to play
I could be your [bad word] hag
And you could be my [bad word] I'll never make you feel sad
When [bad word] out to play.