Well, I [bad word] home one night
After rocking 'bit of wild
And there she stood, her suitcase in her hand
She said "I'll leave you, you poor Elvis
There's just fat around your pelvis
Last not least, there's nothing you do understand

I said "I'm sorry little mama
But that fat results from fan
That l use to have with beer in pubs at night
This is good for that's the reason
Why l don't need any girdle
'Cause now anyway, my drainpipe fits just right"

Oh yes, l thought l closed the backdoor
Now l know l wasn't right
'Cause she [bad word] back later
With a razor by her side
She's a Teddy girl a-beep-beep
With black high heels on her feet
And she did shave away one sideburn in my sleep

So If you find your Teddy-girly
And you think you love her really
Better stay at home, and don't get [bad word] all night
'Cause if she wants to hurt you
And to make you feel oh-so blue
She knows just what to do in farewell night

And you will think you've closed the backdoor
But you'll find you weren't right
'Cause she [bad word] back later
With a razor by her side
She's a Teddy girl a-beep-beep
With black high heels on her feet
And she will shave away one sideburn in your sleep