Alameda Slim: Now listen up!
There are crooks in this here West
Who have claimed to be the best,
And think they wrote the book on how [bad word] 
Well, as good as they may be,
Not a one's as good as me,
An' I barely have to move a single muscle!
They call me mean, boys-
Depraved and nasty too.
And they ain't seen, boys,
The [bad word] thing I do:

You see, I yodel-adle-edle-idle-oo!
The sweetest way [bad word] #39; yet devised!
'Cause when I yodel-adle-edle-idle-oo!
Why, looky how them cows git hypnotized!

Willie Brothers: He don't prod, he don't yell,
Still he drives them dogies well,
Which ain't easy when your chaps are labeled XXXXL!

Alameda Slim: Yes, if yer lookin' from a bovine point of view,
I sure can yodel-adle-edle-idle
Yodel-adle-edle-idle
Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo!

Here we go, boys! 
Five thousand cattle in the side pocket!

[Yodeling]

Yes, I can yodel-adle-edle-oo 
Willie Brothers:sound them cattle [bad word] take to heart!
Alameda Slim: Yeah, I can yodel-adle-edle-idle-oo!
An' smack my big [bad word] if that ain't art!

Willie Brothers: He don't rope-
Not a chance!
He just puts 'em in a trance!
He's a pioneer Pied Piper in ten-gallon underpants!

Alameda Slim: Yep! I'm the real rip-roarin' deal to those who moo!
Thanks to my yodel-adle-edle-idle
Yodle-adle-eedle-idle
I got the cattle out the ol' wazoo!
'Cause I can yodel-adle-edle-idle-oo!
Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo!