Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping...
Holy [bad word] [bad word] 
Then the X-Files being,
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of
vanilla Chig Champa did a slow-mo Matrix descent outta the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,  and all I could think was: 
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I [bad word] my [bad word]  pants."

So light in his way,
Like an apparition, [that]
He had me crying out,
 [bad word] me
It's gotta be
the Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got [right] on top of me
Got me seein' [bad word] -T!"

And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from [bad word]  high school.

You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this [bad word] never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
Y'all sound like Peanuts parents?
Will I ever [bad word] down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing
'Cause this [bad word] never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I've just said!
See the Dead ain't touring
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold [and] eyes red
I'm out of my head
I alive? I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God [bad word]  [bad word] the bed.

Hey ...

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending,
To write it down for all the world to see.

But I forgot my pen [bad word] the bed again ...
Typical.

Strapped down [to] my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
I alive? I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed *
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God [bad word]  [bad word] the bed

I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me!
Can't remember what they said

[We] don't know, [and we] won't know (x12)

God [bad word]  [bad word] the bed!

* though the "official" transcript does say "sun kissed", this is likely one of the many typos on all of Tool's official transcripts 

*Yogi Tea – особый травяной "эзотерический" чай: [bad word] /www [bad word] 
DMT – Диметилтриптамин. Одно из частых следствий приема ДМТ - переживание опыта контакта с пришельцами. 
Как вариант: Yogi Tea + DM