Mr. Twimble, head of the mail room, has worked for [bad word] for 25 years; all of them in the mail room. Finch's book advises him the mailroom is a place from which to escape as soon as possible. When he is offered a mail room promotion, Finch turns it down, [bad word] [bad word]  the boss' [bad word] nephew. Twimble: When I joined this firm
As a brash young man,
Well, I said to myself,
"Now, brash young man,
Don't get any ideas."
Well, I stuck to that,
And I haven't had one in years.
Finch: You play it safe.
Twimble: I play it [bad word] way;
Wherever [bad word] puts me
There I stay.
Finch: But what is your point of view?
Twimble: I have no point of view.
Finch: Supposing [bad word] thinks . . .
Twimble: I think so too.
Finch: Now, what would you say . . .?
Twimble: I wouldn't say.
Finch: Your face is [bad word] face.
Twimble: It smiles at executives
Then goes back in place.
Finch: [bad word] furniture?
Twimble: Oh, it suits me fine.
Finch: [bad word] letterhead?
Twimble: valentine.
Finch: Anything you're against?
Twimble: Unemployment.
Finch: When they want brilliant thinking
From employees
Twimble: That is no concern of mine.
Finch: Suppose a man of genius
Makes suggestions?
Twimble: Watch that genius get suggested to resign.
Finch: So you play it [bad word] way?
Twimble: [bad word] policy is by me OK.
Finch: You'll never rise up to the top.
Twimble: But there's one thing clear:
Whoever [bad word] fires,
I will still be here.
Finch: Oh, you certainly found a home!
Twimble: It's cozy.
Finch: Your brain is [bad word] brain.
Twimble: [bad word] washed it,
Now I [bad word] 
Finch: Hey, [bad word] magazine!
Twimble: Oh, what style, what punch!
Finch: [bad word] restaurant!
Twimble: Ev'ry day same lunch:
Their haddock sandwich; it's delicious!
Finch: I must try it.
Twimble: (Early in the week.)
Finch: Do you have any hobbies?
Twimble: I've a hobby; I play gin with Mr. Bratt.
Finch: Mr. Bratt! And do you play it nicely?
Twimble: Play it nicely . . . still, he blitzes me
In every game, like that!
Finch: Why?
Twimble: 'Cause I play it [bad word] way.
Executive policy is by me OK.
Finch: Oh, how can you get anywhere?
Twimble: Junior, have no fear;
Whoever [bad word] fires,
I will still be here.
Finch: You will still be here.
Both: Year after year after fiscal,
Never take a risk-al year! [bad word]  Oh, me too, me too, Mr. Twimble!
I know exactly what you mean.
From now on . . .
I'll play it [bad word] way,
Wherever [bad word] puts me
There'll I'll stay.
Whatever [bad word] tells him
That he'll do.
Whatever my uncle may think,
I think so too.
He's beaming [bad word] pride.
I've conquered that overambitious rat inside.
Old Bud is no longer the [bad word] he used to be.
I pledge to [bad word] sweet conformity.

I will someday earn my medal:
Twenty-five year employee.
I'll see to it that the medal
Is the only thing they'll ever pin on me.

The [bad word] way is [bad word] way.
Executive policy is by him OK.
I'll never be president,
But there's one thing clear,
As long as my uncle can stand me,
I will still be here.

We know [bad word] may like or lump any man,
And if they choose to [bad word] may dump any man;
But they will never dump [bad word]  [bad word] man. [bad word] will play it [bad word]  [bad word] will play it [bad word]  [bad word] will play it [bad word] way!