It's kinda hard to wear high heels, or slip on banana peels
How does she get in and out of tubs
I hope she don't get mad, I hope she thinks this song is good not bad
Cause we think that she's totally rad, she's nubs.

No fingers, no toes, she doesn't own elbows,
No phalanges no knobby knees to knock
She don't need knuckles or hands to go see punk rock bands
She's always in the stands, she's nubs
She can't pick up a phone, she can't get dressed alone
She's got no funny bone, she's nubs
No shoes for feet but we sure do think she's neat, she's nubs, she's nubs, she's nubs.

I asked her if she want a drink, I asked her if she liked toronto,
I asked her to go out to the bar, but all she said was no, no and no

It was time for us to leave, so I grabbed and shook her sleeve
And told her I'd see her at the next club she got into a pack
And some guy put her on his back, she said goodbye and kinda waved her stub

She's got beauitful eyes, and [bad word] regular size,
But without calves and thighs, she's nubs
It's hard to give good head or get tied to a bed,
When all you've got is a body and head, she's nubs

She's nubs, she's nubs, she's nubs...
Oh she may not walk the walk, and she may not like to talk
But boy she sure knows how to rock, she's nubs.