There are no mistakes. Only decisions.
The choices that you choose to make.
And the night that you saw them choose (the way I watch you choose)
You described it as a "physical pain" in your spine
I watched your spirit break
I felt the collapse of my [bad word] as my head hit my hands.
I would rather be alone forever than suffer "out of body experiences."
pestilence.
It resonates in these waves of human garbage that frequent my memory.
Images of floating bodies, scathed, soiled.
Replaying in my head's airwaves.
So I will just lay back down.
In this bed I buried inside of your house.
hollow hole that I have dug for myself.
home that I have settled into.
Because I have been slipping into nothing
and these thoughts are worthless
as long as actions keep showing the same signs of
"if it looks dead and it smells dead..."
it's probably [bad word] dead.