Guess who
You missed me?
Jessica Simpson, sing the [bad word] 

[Refrain]
When you walked through the door, it was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see. (who they came to see)
You’re a… rockstar (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Playa, who can really blame you? (who can really blame you)
We’re the ones who made you

Back by popular demand
Now pop a little zantac for antacid
if you can
You’re ready to tackle any task
that is at hand
How does it feel? Is it fantastic,
is it grand?
Well look at all the massive masses in the stands
Shady, man, no, don’t massacre
the fans [bad word]  I think Kim Kardashian’s a man!
She stomped him just because
he asked to put his hands
On her massive glutius maximus again
Sqeeze it, then squish it,
then pass it to her friend
Can [bad word] back as nasty
as he can?
Yes, he can, can,
don’t ask me this again
He does not mean to [bad word] offend
But Lindsay, [bad word] back to seeing men
Samantha’s a two, you’re practically a ten
I know you want me, girl, in fact,
I can see a grin. [bad word] in girl.

[Refrain]

The enforcer looking for more women
to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl
and Charlie Horse ‘er
Sorry Porsha, but what’s Ellen Degeneress, have that i don’t
Are ya tellin me tenderness
Well I can be as gentle and smooth
as a gentlemen
Gimme my ventolin inhaler
and two xenadrine
And I’ll invite Sarah Palin
out to dinner then
Nail her, baby say hello to my little friend
Brit, forget K-Fed, let’s cut off the middle men
Forget him or you’re gonna
end up in the hospital again
And this time it won’t be
for the Ritalin binge
Forget them other men, girl,
pay the middle attention
and little did I mention,
that Jennifer’s in
Love with me, John Mayer,
so sit on the bench
Man, I swear them other guys,
you give ‘em an inch
They take a mile, they got style,
but it isn’t Slim

[Refrain]

And that’s why, my love
you’ll never live without
I know you want me girl
’cause I can see you checkin me out
And baby, you know
you know you want me too
Don’t try to deny it baby you know
that I’m the only one for you (obligatory [bad word] noise)
 [bad word] girl I’m beginning
to sprout an alphalpha
Why should I wash my filthy mouth out
you think thats bad
you should hear the rest of my album
Never has there been such finesse and nostalgia
Man Cash, I don’t mean
to mess with ya gal but
Jessica Alba put her breast in my mouth bro
Wowzers
I just made a mess in my trousers
And they wonder why
I keep wrestlin elvis
Lord, help us, he’s back in his pink
Alf shirt
Lookin like someone drinked his outfit
I think he’ bout to flip
Jessica rest assured Superman’s here to rescue you
Can you blame me?
You’re my Amy,
I’m your Blake
Matter of fact,
bake me a birthday cake
With a sawblade in it to make my jail break
Maybe i think you just met your soulmate
Now break it down girl