Standing in the dock at Southampton
trying to get to Holland or France
The man in the mac said
you've got to go back
You know they didn't even give us a chance

Christ you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're going to [bad word] me

Finally made the plane into Paris
Honeymooning down by the Seine
Peter Brown call to say
you can make it O.K.
You can get married in Gibraltar near Spain

Christ you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're going to [bad word] me

Drove from Paris to the Amsterdam Hilton
Talking in our beds for a week
The newspapers said
say what're you doing in bed
I said we're only trying to get us some peace

Christ you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're going to [bad word] me

Saving up your money for a rainy day
giving all your clothes to charity
Last night the wife said
Oh boy when you're dead
you don't take nothing with you but your soul, think

Made a lightning trip to Vienna
Eating chocolate cake in a bag
The newspapers said
she's gone to his head
They look just like to [bad word] in drag

Christ you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're going to [bad word] me

Caught the early plane back to London
Fifty acorns tied in a sack
The men from the press
said we wish you successs
It's good to have the both of you back

Christ you know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They're going to [bad word] me
The way things are going
They're going to [bad word] me