You've got to look your best tonight, 
You tubby little parasite, 
'Cause there's a lovely lady and she's waiting for you. 
And though her pretty face may seem 
special person's wettest dream 
Before you get to see it there are things you must do. 
We'll try a tie and boutonniere of yellow 
Or a rose that shows that you're a classy fellow 
With the posh panache of Jefferson at Monticello 
Busting out a mile with style. 
I know you just can't wait to stare 
At all that luscious orange hair 
But, boy, before you touch a single curl, 
You must impress that ultra bloomin', 
All-consumin', poorly groomin' 
Down's Syndrome girl. 
On any normal day you reek 
As if you're on a farting streak. 
Your finger's up your nose And you are dripping with drool. 
But if you want a lady's love, 
You're better off by smelling of 
gentleman's cologne instead of sneakers and stool. 
squirt, a spurt 
Of something just for Ellen 
And you'll see, that she 
Will find you [bad word]  
And she does, because 
The only smell that she'll be smellin' 
Won't [bad word] from your bum. 
(farts) 
You wanna take that little [bad word] 
And spin her on the dancing floor, 
But boy, before you do a single twirl, 
You must impress that effervescing, 
Self-possessing, no BS-ing 
Down's Syndrome girl. 
Her eyes are emerald portals 
To a secret land of love 
And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower. 
Her kiss is so inviting 
And her hugs are so delighting, 
And what makes them really nice 
Is that they've got a little spice, 
Because they're tighter than a vise 
And they go on for an hour. 
(Stewie and Chris tap dance) 
My boy, between the two of us, 
We'll get you on that shorty bus 
And then you're gonna take it for a whirl. 
Now go impress that super-thrilling, 
Wish-fulfilling, Yoo-Hoo spilling, 
Ultra-swinging, boner-bringing, 
Gaily singing, dingalinging, 
Stupefying, fortifying, 
As of Monday, shoelace tying, 
Stimulating, titillating, 
Kitty-cat impersonating, 
Mega-rocking, pillow-talking, 
Just a little crooked walking, 
Coyly pouting, booby-sprouting: 
For some reason always shouting, 
Fascinating, captivating, 
Happiness and joy creating... 
(glass shatters) 

Down's Syndrome Girl!