Once upon a time, on a quiet summer's evening an old man was rowing an old boat across an ancient lake.

little frog jumped up onto the end of the boat, and the frog said to the old man, "Old man, if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful young princess and you can do whatever you want with me."

And the old man smiled at the frog and kept on rowing his old boat across the ancient lake.

And the frog said again, "Old man, if you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful young princess, and you can do whatever you want with me and I'll do whatever you want."

And the old man smiled and looked at the frog and carried on rowing his old boat across the ancient lake. And there was a long silence while the guitar played.

The frog said to the old man, "Old man, why won't you kiss me?"

The old man looked at the frog and stopped rowing his old boat across the ancient lake, put his hands in the air and [bad word] his shoulders and said. "At my age I'd rather have a talking frog."