Wait a minute, man, hey, check this out, tell it
It was this blind man, right?
Man, check this out it was this blind man, right?
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
Hey, he walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?

He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said
?Woo, good morning ladies?, you like that [bad word]  man?
Hey, man, I got a gang of that [bad word]  man, I tell you what
My man on the guitar, fool on the [bad word] 
Everybody just crowd around the mic
I'll tell you all these mutha [bad word]  jokes
But first, I'ma start it off like this
Hey, help me sing it, homeboy

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as [bad word] flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville
If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will

Well, it was just sundown in a small white town
They call it East Side Palm Dale
When the Afroman walked through the white land
Houses went up for sale
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's
When I met a little girl named Jan

I let her ride in my Caddy 'cause I didn't know
Her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan
We [bad word] on the bed, [bad word] on the flo' [bad word] so long, I grew a [bad word]  afro
Then I [bad word] to the left, [bad word] to the right
She sucked my [bad word] till the [bad word] turned white

I thought to myself, ?Sheba, Sheba
Got my [bad word] lookin' like a zebra?
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
I ran, I jumped out the back window
But her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4

Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right
The mutha [bad word] whooped my [bad word] all night
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad
That's the best [bad word] [bad word] I ever had
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
I'm a [bad word] that [bad word] just one more time

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as [bad word] flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup De Ville
If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will

I met this lady in Hollywood, she had green hair
But [bad word] she looked good
I took her to my house, 'cause she was fine
But she whipped out a [bad word] that was bigger than mine
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African

I [bad word] her once, I [bad word] her twice
I ate that [bad word] like shrimp fried rice
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya
I met a woman in the heart of Australia
Had a big butt and big [bad word]  too
So I hopped in her [bad word] like a kangaroo

See, I met this lady from Hawaii
Stuck it in her [bad word]  and she said, ?Aie?
Lips was breakfast, [bad word] was lunch
Then her [bad word] busted open with Hawaiian Punch
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky

She said, ?I'll fry some chicken if you just [bad word] me?
I came in her mouth it was a crisis
I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns
Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong
Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong