Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherazad-ie had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails
You got some power in your corner now, some heavy ammunition in your camp
You got some punch, pizzaz, yahoo and how, see all you gotta do [bad word] that lamp
And I'll say

Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me, Ho-ho-ho

Life is your restaurant, And I'm your maitre'd
C'mon whisper what it is you want, you ain't never had a friend like me

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service, You're the boss, the king, the shah
Say what you wish, It's yours! [bad word] dish, How 'bout a little more Baklava?
Have some of column "A", Try all of column "B"
I'm in the mood to help you dude, You ain't never had a friend like me
La-la-la, No man, La-la-la, no-no La-la-la, La-la-la

Can your friends do this?, Do your friends do that?
Do your friends pull this out their little hat?
Can your friends go poof! Well, looky here, Ha-ha
Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let'er rip
And then make the sucker disappear?

So doncha sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
You got me bona fide, certified, You got a genie for your charge d'affaires
I got a powerful urge to help you out, So what-cha wish? I really wanna know
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
Well, all you gotta do [bad word] like so - and oh

Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three, I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend like me
Nnever had a friend like me