You're gonna think I'm crazy
 And I really don't wanna creep you out
 But I've been watchin' you
 And I could swear I saw you checkin' me out

 So how are you this evening?
 I see you all the time
 I got the nerve to talk to you now
 I've got a proposition for you
 Let me know how all of this sounds
 Woah, I'm kinda nervous 
 Here goes nothing

 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 She sucks, it's [bad word] 
 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 Why can't it be you?
 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 She sucks, it's [bad word] 
 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 So why can't it be you?

 She takes me for granted
 And it's possible her dad wants me dead
 She drinks unleaded gasoline
 And soon she'll have two horns on her head
 I used to buy her flowers,
 She'd smell them, they would die
 It's possible she may be possessed
 Not to mention jealous, mean and miserable
 Oh God, I'm so depressed
 Woah, please help me Obi Wan Kenobi

 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 She sucks, it's [bad word] 
 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 Why can't it be you?
 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 She sucks, it's [bad word] 
 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 So why can't it be you?

 All I want is you
 Coz you're so sweet and she's like
 Walking over landmines
 (Walking over landmines)
 You're so sweet and she's like
 Walking over landmines
 (Walking over landmines)
 Walking over landmines
 Walking over landmines

 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 She sucks, it's [bad word] 
 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 Why can't it be you?
 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 She sucks, it's [bad word] 
 My girlfriend sucks, I need a new one
 So why can't it be you?

 My girlfriend sucks, it's [bad word] 
 Why can't it be you?
 My girlfriend sucks, it's [bad word] 
 Why can't it be you?