so many days i've can't stop myself
from fighting this monster that eats me alive
so many time i've fought and i've tried
to live for a moment without fearing my mind 
i hate this, yet live this, and it's bringing me down
i feel like I'm standing on uneven ground
the balance to life has been skewered so violent
I'm so sick of this death-instinct silence 
so despondent and so somber so frail
so scared to begin for the fear i will fail
I'm alone in this pattern and i can't call for grace
I'm left in this mess that is such a disgrace
i fear for my mind more than i fear for life
the one thing worth saving is the love i deny
and i feel so hollow, but i yearn to relent
the control for some peace and freedom from this torment
there's no one to save me and i can't save myself
i'd give my whole being for some kind of help
but no one can stop this [bad word] monster so great
all hope is now lost and it's too late
i numb to forget, to quiet the nose
so deafened by silence, i can't live with myself
i numb to forgive, for myself can't forget
that i could've been someone without any regret
you lying man who tells a tale of flawless love and peace of mind
of parting seas and curing blind
your lies my faith, there's no remorse
you spin your tale with [bad word] force
your lies, my faith, my breathing grace
i ran from life, i erased my faith
I am so blind
and seeing eyes are not so kind