BAELISH: [bad word] to King's Landing, a city of kings and whores
where anything can happen.
 
PYCELLE: Yes, quite right.
 
VARYS: Do be careful, 'cause [bad word] s about to get real.
 
ROBERT BARATHEON: Ho….
Well, I'm the [bad word]  King
Robert Baratheon, wrathful and nasty, when I
drop the [bad word]  hammer, invade like a pathogen, now
gimme three whores, so I can smack that [bad word] again, and
build a bigger orphanage to put all my [bad word] in.
My wife's a brother [bad word] and a straight-up [bad word] who gave me three blonde [bad word]  but her daddy is rich
Wine! All this [bad word] lickin''s makin' me sick
I thank the gods that a boar put a tusk through my pancreas.
 
CERSEI: I gestated my bro's DNA…
 
TYRION: Not mine.
 
CERSEI: …thought my inbred kids were okay…
 
NED: Seriously?
 
CERSEI: …but I'm afraid that…
 
TYRION & NED: Joffrey is a half-wit, demented, sadistic piece of [bad word] 
 
JOFFREY: You better say that I'm the king or I'll chop off your head
I'll put your genitals in the genital jar I keep in a drawer beside my bed-
 
SANSA: Your grace.
 
JOFFREY: Yes, give her a gift, hit her in the face.
 
SANSA: Why?!
 
JOFFREY: Women are so weak and weary
bring her back when she has her period.
Burn the traitors, [bad word] the North, kill the babies, [bad word] the poor,
I'm so bored with cutting out tongues, but I'm gettin' it done, mutilating whores
 
MARGAERY: Is this yours?
 
JOFFREY: Yes, it is.
 
MARGAERY: Talk about killing. I love that [bad word]  Stabbing, hacking, blood and guts….
 
JOFFREY: Hold on--I'm about to [bad word] 
 
VARYS: Sadly, I cannot.
 
PYCELLE: No [bad word]  quite right.
 
BAELISH: sorcerer cut off your junk, we know. At least it wasn't your head.
 
VARYS: Poor Ned Stark. What will the North do?
 
PYCELLE: My [bad word] is like baking soda.
 
VARYS: The Stark bannermen?
 
BANNERMEN: Oh... yeah!
 
ROBB: Oh [bad word] yeah!
 
BAELISH: Why are they so [bad word] happy?
 
BANNERMEN: Whut whut??? Ho!!! North side! All hail King in the North, Robb Stark. Ho…..
 
ROBB: Yeah, yeah…
we fight for independence, it's a glorious day
'cause I married for love, and it's cool with the Freys
Yeah, we're heading to a wedding, gonna party today
and I'm gonna be a dad?! God, everything's great!
 
BANNERMEN: Hey!
 
CATELYN: Winter [bad word] 
 
ROBB: So we'll hang out inside!
 
CATELYN: But Winterfell burned down, Robb…
 
ROBB: Look on the bright side.
Lemme hear my Starks: are we doin' alright?
 
BRAN: Father's dead, we're homeless, and I'm crippled for life.
 
RICKON: I'm hungry.
 
ARYA: I'm alone in the middle of a war.
 
ROBB: Yeah!
 
SANSA: I love the [bad word] boy, but I married the dwarf.
 
ROBB: See that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, we're havin' a ball
 
LYSA: I'm gonna breastfeed Robin 'til my [bad word] fall off.
 
NORTHWOMEN: We are the North!
 
ROBIN: Yay!
 
ROBB: Brienne, how's it going with the Kingslayer?
 
BRIENNE: Rapists have me and I'm fighting a bear!
 
NORTHWOMEN: We are the North!
 
ROBB: Cool! How's it hangin', Theon?
 
THEON: Really bad!
 
ARYA: I met a lady who had demons in her vag!
 
NORTHWOMEN: We are the North!
 
EVERYBODY:
We are the North Side, ey!
Doin' it our own way!
 
NORTHWOMEN: We are the North!
 
ROBB: Hey, it's my boy, Jon Snow! What up Jon?
 
SAMWELL: Um, hullo. We've got a bit of a problem at the Wall. It's… it's a bit nippy… and…
 
JON SNOW: There's [bad word]  Whitewalkers! [bad word] s crazy, I'm freezin' to death
with thieves and rapers, had to swear off