Take a look at my girlfriend 
She's the only one I got 
Not much of a girlfriend 
Never seem to get a lot 
Take a jumbo across the water 
Like to see America 
See the girls in California 
I'm hoping it's going [bad word] [bad word] 
But there's not a lot I can do 

Could we have kippers for breakfast 
Mummy dear, Mummy dear 
They got to have 'em in Texas 
Cos everyone's a millionaire 
I'm a winner, I'm a sinner 
Do you want my autograph 
I'm a loser, what a joker 
I'm playing my jokes upon you 
While there's nothing better to do 

Don't you look at my girlfriend 
She's the only one I got 
Not much of a girlfriend 
Never seem to get a lot 
Take a jumbo cross the water 
Like to see America 
See the girls in California 
I'm hoping it's going [bad word] [bad word] 
But there's not a lot I can do