[Dr. Dre] Marshall! Sounds like an S.O.S.
[Mathers] Holy wack unlyrical lyrics Andre, you're [bad word] right!!
[Dr. Dre] To the Rapmobile - let's go!

(Marshall! Marshall!)

[Eminem]
 [bad word] and gentlemen! It's SHOWTIME!
Hurry hurry, step right up!
Introducin the star of our show.. his name is..
(Marshall!)
You wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now
So without further adieux, I bring to you
(Marshall!)

[Eminem]
You bout to witness, hip-hop in its most purest
more rawest form, flow almost flawless
Most hardest, most honest known artist
Chip off the old block, but oh Doc is BACK
Looks like Batman brought his own Robin
Oh God, Saddam's got his own Laden
With his own private plane, his own pilot
Set to blow college dorm rooms doors off the hinges
oranges, peach, pears, plums, syringes
(*chainsaw sound* VROOM VROOM! Yeah, here [bad word] 
I'm inches, away from you, dear fear none
Hip-Hop is in a state of nine-one-one so..

 [bad word] 2X: Eminem]
Let's get down to business
I don't got no time to play around, what is this?
Must be a circus in town, let's shut the [bad word] down
on these clowns; can I get a witness?  [bad word] YEAH!)

[Eminem]
Quick gotta move fast, gotta perform miracles
Gee wilikers Dre, "Holy bat syllables!"
Look at all the [bad word] that goes on in Gotham
when I'm gone, time to get rid of these rap criminals
So skip to your lou while I do what I do best
You ain't even impressed no more; you're used to it
Flows too wet, nobody close to it
Nobody says it but still everybody knows the [bad word] 
The most hated on out of all those who say they get hated on
in eighty songs and exaggerate it all so much
they make it all up, there's no such thing
Like a female with good looks who cooks and cleans
It just means so much more to so much more
people when you're rappin and you know what for
The show must go on; so I'd like to [bad word] y'all
to Marshall and Andre's car-ni-val, c'mon! Now

 [bad word] 

[Eminem]
It's just like old times, the Dynamic Duo
Two old friends, why panic? You already know
who's fully capable, the two caped heroes
Dial straight down the center, eight-zero-zero
You can even call collect, the most feared duet
since me and Elton, played [bad word] Roulette
And never even see me blink or get to bustin a sweat
People steppin over people just [bad word] to the set
just to get to see an MC who breathes so freely
Ease over these beats and be so breezy
Jesus how can [bad word] be so easy?
How can one Chandra be so Levy?
Turn on these beats, MC's don't see me
Believe me; BET and MTV
are gonna grieve when we leave dog, fo' sheezy
Can't leave rap alone, the game needs me
'til we grow beards, get weird and disappear
into the mountains - nothin but clowns down here
But we, ain't [bad word] around round here
Yo Dre (whattup?) Can I get [bad word] .?  [bad word] YEAH!) Now

 [bad word] 

[Outro]
So there you have it folks (Marshall!) [bad word] to save the day
Back with his friend Andre, here to remind you that [bad word] does not pay
Because (Marshall!) and Andre are here to stay
and never go away, until our dying day
Until we're old and grey (Marshall!)
So until next time friends, same blonde hair, same rap channel
Good night everyone, thank you [bad word] 
Your host for the evening (Marshall!)
Oh! Heh