Hector:
We all live in a beautiful world,
the rocks, the trees, the tiniest squirrel,
billions of people with bright smiling faces,
boys with golf clubs, young girls with braces,
puppies, kittens, the mighty condor,
these are a few of the things I adore.
I love my island, I love my money.

Stomach:
I love ham, I love jam, I love biscuits with honey.

Hector:
Our world is filled with incredible beauty
and that is why I feel it's my duty
to send forth some troops to invade the coastline,
to [bad word] and destroy until it's all mine!

Major Doctor Ghastly:
Boron is my favorite of the periodic elements,
I built laser-guided robots programmed for self-defense,
I forged a giant Buckyball that's not too soft and not too dense.
But now I'm cookin' pies for science,
Einstein would beam with pride
if he could see my brilliance
all baked up in a pie.
The [bad word] is made of micro-tiny carbon-ion fiber coils
the filling [bad word] of several fattening and tasty oils,
cooked in an oven till the surface froths and boils.
And still I'm cookin' pies for science,
a dioxyribonucleic stew,
too thick for an appliance, so I hop right in the brew.
My boots were made for marching, and that's just what they'll do,
if only they [bad word] from wading in this goo!
 [bad word] sings:
Pie! Pie! Pie in the sky!
Oh, there's pie in the sky,
and it makes me wonder why
it's flying through the air
in a ship that's driven by a bear.
The [bad word] looks flaky,
the dough's not cakey,
covered in a rich meringue.

Man:
I'll go fat and lazy,
my brain all soft and hazy.
 [bad word] sings:
The pie in the sky makes me want to love you.

General Skarr (spoken, a la Riff Raff from Rocky Horror):
There is pie in the sky
and that pie I'm going to fly
into your eager little faces
even you there with the braces.

Hector:
This plan makes me sing,
these pies will make me king!

Boskov the [bad word] ruh [bad word] RUH [bad word] ruh [bad word] 

Woman:
I fear that I'm unable
to get up from the table.

Woman and Man duet:
The pie in the sky makes me want to love you.

President:
Look, there's pie in the sky
and it makes me wonder why
you're letting Hector Con Carne win.
Wipe that pie goo off your chin!

Soldiers:
We can't fight the bad guys.
We'll devour more pies.
While we grow in girth,
someone else can save the earth.

President:
It's making S.P.O.R.K. useless and full,
their bodies are limp and their wits are dull.
We fail at everything that we try.
Who will save us from this dastardly pie?
 [bad word] sings:
Yes, more pie,
I don't care why
the bad guys do what they do.
'Cause I'm gonna eat more pie
there's no reason why,
we'll just chew and we'll chew...
until we're through!

Hector (reprising his first song):
I love this beautiful world we all live in,
there's nothing for people to do but to give in.
They are too full and too lazy to fight me,
thanks to my tasty and dangerous pastry!
I have no body, I haven't got wrists
but I can [bad word] this world with iron fists!
mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha, mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
 [bad word] 
Blah blah BLAH Blah blah BLAH
Blah blah blah bl-bl-bl blah blah blah-blah-BLAH!
Blah blah BLAH Blah blah BLAH blah
BLAH blah blah BLAH blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!
(repeat, with feeling)
 [bad word] sings:
na na na I'm so full I cannot move.
Wish I could get up and groove,
but I had too much pie na na na na.

Soldier:
I can't fight you any longer,
I wish my will were stronger
but I had too much pie [bad word] sings:
na na na na
Why do I feel this way, what's inside that pie? na na na na
Why do I fe