Enormous [bad word] 
Whenever life gets you down
Keeps you wearing a frown
And the gravy train has left you behind

And when you’re all out of hope
Down at the end of your rope
And nobody’s there to throw you a line

If you ever get so low that you don’t know which way to [bad word] on and take a walk in my shoes
Never worry bout a thing, got the world on a string
’Cause I’ve got the cure for all of my blues

I take a look at my enormous [bad word] And my troubles start a’meltin’ away
I take a look at my enormous [bad word] And the happy times [bad word]  to stay

I gotta sing and I dance
When I glance in my pants
And the feelin’s like a sunshine-y day
I take a look at my enormous [bad word] And everything is goin’ my way

I take a look at my enormous [bad word] And my troubles start a’meltin’ away
I take a look at my enormous [bad word] And the happy times [bad word]  to stay

Yeah, I got great big amounts
In the place where it counts
And the feelin’s like a sunshine-y day
I take a look at my enormous [bad word] And everything is goin’ my way (my trouser monster)
Everything is goin’ my way (my meat is murder)
Everything is goin’ my way (…size doesn’t matter…?)
Everything is goin’ my way