You're your own worst enemy
You're a walking catastrophe

You get up every morning on the wrong side of the bed
You butter your hand instead of the bread
Drink enough coffee to wake the dead.

You're doing 85 and the light is turning red
The judge took your license and forbid you to drive
And your heart is pumping bacon and you're barely alive

You're your own worst enemy
You're a walking catastrophe
You're at war with yourself and nobody else
You're a danger. You're a danger

You trip on your shoelace and fall on your face
Your hair is a mess, your clothes a disgrace
Your stocks went south and your girlfriend is [bad word] 
Your dog ate your cat and that was your good day

You're your own worst enemy
You're a walking catastrophe
You're at war with yourself and nobody else
You're a danger

You're your own worst enemy
You're a walking catastrophe
You're at war with yourself and nobody else
You're a danger. You're a danger
To every stranger
You're a mess
Yes, yes