(Intro)
Oh! It's music to my ears, Oh man!
How can I describe, the way I feel? [bad word] great man! Okay, let me see...
How could I begin...

(Verse 1)
Locked in Mariah's wine cellar all I had for lunch,
Was red wine, more red wine, and captain [bad word] 
Red wine for breakfast and for [bad word] 
And to soak it up and in between snack, crackers to munch,
Mariah, what's ever happened to us, why did we have to break up,
All I asked for was a glass of punch,
You see, I never really ask for much,
I can't imagine what's going through your mind after such,
nasty breakup with that Laftin Hunkler,
Weisman Gale, Nick Cannon better back the [bad word] up,
I'm not playin, I want her back you punk,
This is Hello Kitty bedspread satin funk,
Mixed with egyptian, with a little rappin pump,
Zappin Eric Clapton, (Shaft?), Frank Zappa [bad word] 
And yeah baby, I want another crack at ya,
You can beat me with any spatula thatcha want,
I mean I really want you bad you [bad word] 
Nick you had your fun, [bad word] to kick you in your sack of junk,
Man I could use a fresh batch of blood,
So prepare your vernacular for dracula acupunc-ture
 [bad word] 
Bagpipes from Baghdad
When will it ever cease, for Pete's sake he's crazy, to say the least
Bagpipes from Baghdad
What's going through my mind half the time, when I rhyme, while blowing on my
Bagpipes from Baghdad
Sombody turn the vacancy sign on, 'cause I'm gone, blowing on my
Bagpipes from Baghdad [bad word] the streets and act like a madman, holding a glad-,

(Verse 2)
You can be a permanent fixture,
In my lyrical mixture,
I'm the miracle whit trixter,
My sig-nature sound, when the tube of lipstick's around,
I'm bound to put on in an instant, wow
Man what an ensemble, what an assortment of pharma-
Ceuticals, it's beautiful, pill dust in my palm, my
Cuticles get residue just from touching the bottle,
Never knew I could remind me so much of my mama,
I'll cut you like Dahmer, pull a butcher knife on ya,
The size of a sword boy, I'm like a [bad word] Red Sonia,
Get it stuck in your cornea,
Nice knowin ya Norman,
You're so [bad word]  annoyin,
Drop the shovel boy, you don't know what the [bad word] ya doin',
I ain't playin' no [bad word]  more,
Nick Cannon you prick, I wish you luck with the [bad word] [bad word] 
Every minute there's a sucker born,
Snuck up on Malachai and made the [bad word] suck on a shuck of corn,
Shuck of, shuck of corn, shuck of corn,
Hit Jason in the face with a hockey puck and told him it's [bad word] on,
What the [bad word] are you doin', [bad word]  over the snow blower,
With the lawnmower, blow on your
Bagpipes from Baghdad
 [bad word] 
Bagpipes from Baghdad
When will it ever cease, for Pete's sake he's crazy, to say the least
Bagpipes from Baghdad
What's going through my mind half the time, when I rhyme, while blowing on my,
Bagpipes from Baghdad
Sombody turn the vacancy sign on, 'cause I'm gone, blowing on my,
Bagpipes from Baghdad [bad word] the streets and act like a madman, holding a gladbag,

(Verse 3)
In the bed with two braindead [bad word] vegetables,
I bet you they [bad word] heteroual,
Nothing will stop me from molesting you, [bad word] you til your breastnipple
Flesh, tickles my [bad word] 
Is what they said to the two conjoined twins,
How's it going girlfriends, you need a boyfriend,
You need some ointment, just make an appointment,
Who's gonna see the doctor first, we'll do a coin flip
I just got my one year sobriety coin chip,
When the bad get going, how bad does the going get
Baby you shouldn't have any [bad word] groins wit
Each other, especially when you're joined at the hip,
I'm going to get the needle, new thread from the sewing kit,
An attempt to seperate em and stitch em back