Jimmy Kimmel: 
Oh, Hi Sarah. It’s been a long time. I guess you’ve been…busy with…Matt Damon. I’ve been busy too. I’ve been thinking about us, and you and him and, I’m happy for you. I really am. He’s a great guy. I mean he’s the iest man alive. I found somebodye pretty y too. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but…I’m [bad word] Ben Affleck!

Ben Affleck: 
He’s [bad word] Ben Affleck.

Jimmy Kimmel: 
While you and Matt are swappin’ spit. I said I’m [bad word] Ben Affleck!

Ben Affleck: 
He said he’s [bad word] Ben Affleck. Hey Sarah, he’s got bigger [bad word] 

Jimmy Kimmel: 
They’re not hairy though, right?

Ben Affleck: 
No…

Brad Pitt: 
Excuse me…Is someone here [bad word] Ben Affleck?

Jimmy Kimmel: 
I am! I’m [bad word] him!

Brad Pitt: 
Great, sign here.

Jimmy Kimmel: 
Thank you. [Reads cake] Congratulations on [bad word] Ben Affleck.

Crowd & Ben: 
Ahhhh….

Brad Pitt: 
What did you wish for?

Jimmy Kimmel & Ben Affleck: 
When we’re together there’s this feeling inside.
It’s like a million butterflies flutterin’ in my behind.
I love the dimples in your chin, I see diamonds in your eyes.
When I’m [bad word] you Ben Affleck I feel like I can fly.
And our [bad word] won’t be stopped no matter how hard they try.

Ben Affleck: 
They can’t stop it.

Jimmy Kimmel: 
They can’t stop it.

Joan Jett: 
You won’t tear them apart. You can’t stop this love affair, cause they love f-u-c-k-i-n-g.

Robin Williams: 
This is not a man [bad word]  He’s [bad word] our friend Ben.

Don Cheadle: 
And so we all…we all hope Matt will understand…

Everyone: 
He’s [bad word] Ben

Pete Wentz & Dominic Monaghan:  [bad word] Ben Affleck

Perry Farrell: 
Yeah, Jimmy’s the one who’s [bad word] Ben Affleck like they’re in prison.

Everyone: 
Just like prison.

Macy Gray: 
He’s [bad word] Ben…Ben Affleck’s his guy.

Joel Madden and Benji Madden: 
Oh, it’s through the [bad word] night and day…

Lance Bass: 
Just ask Huey!

Cameron Diaz: 
Okay, I’ll ask him Huey, did you see them [bad word] at all?

Huey Luis: 
Yes, I saw them [bad word]  They were in a bathroom stall.

Josh Groban: 
Oooohhh ooohhhh oohhh he’s [bad word] Ben, [bad word] Ben Affleck. He’s fuuuucking Bennnn!

Everyone: 
He’s [bad word] Ben. He’s [bad word] Ben Affleck!

Christopher Mintz-Plasse: 
Jimmy’s the one who’s [bad word] Ben Affleck like they’re in prison!

Meatloaf & Everyone: 
He’s [bad word] Ben. Ben Affleck’s his guy!

Joel Madden and Benji Madden: 
Do the [bad word] every way.
 [bad word] Barrett: 
Just ask Don Cheadle!

Don Cheadle: 
Ooohhhh ooohhh ooohhh he’s [bad word] Ben.

Everyone: 
He’s [bad word] Ben Affleck!

[Harrison Ford blows a kiss to Ben and Jimmy]

Everyone: 
Jimmy’s the one who’s [bad word] Ben Affleck like they’re in prison.

Christina Applegate & Rebecca Romijn: 
Just like prison!

Everyone: 
He’s [bad word] Ben! [bad word] Ben Affleck. Jimmy’s the one who’s [bad word] Ben Affleck like they’re in prison. He’s [bad word] Ben. Ben Affleck’s his guy!

Huey Luis & Cameron Diaz:
They’ve been making sweet sweet love, Ben and Jimmy!

Josh Groban: 
That was pretty [bad word]  good.