LOVETT:
Seems a downright shame...
TODD:
Shame?
LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's-his-name
Has... Had... Has...
Nor it can't be traced.
Business needs a lift-
Debts to be erased-
Think of it as thrift,
as a gift...
If you get my drift...
Seems an awful waste.
I mean, with the price
of meat what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...
TODD:
Ah-
LOVETT:
Good, you got it.
Take, for instance,
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop.
Business never better,
using only pussycats and toast.
And a [bad word] #39;s good for maybe
six or seven at the most.
And I'm sure they can't [bad word] as far as taste-
[Simultaneously]
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a waste...
TODD:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!
LOVETT:
It's an idea...
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
LOVETT:
Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon [bad word] #39; for a shave,
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!
TODD:
How choice!
How
Rare!

TODD:
For what's the sound of the world out there?
LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those [bad word] noises pervading the air!
LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
TODD:
It's man devouring man, my dear!
BOTH:
And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here?
TODD: (spoken) These are desperate times,
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!
LOVETT: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!
TODD: What is that?
LOVETT:
It's priest. Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they [bad word] sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
LOVETT:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!
LOVETT:
Lawyer's rather nice.
TODD:
If it's for a price.
LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!
TODD:
Anything that's lean.
LOVETT:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean.
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
TODD:
Is that squire, on the fire?
LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!
TODD:
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!
LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!

TODD:
The history of the world, my love --
LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!
TODD:
Is those below serving those up above!
LOVETT:
Ev'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know
BOTH:
That those above will serve those down below!
TODD:
What is that?
LOVETT:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
Or we have some shepherd's pie
peppered With actual shepherd on top.
And I've just begun.
Here's a politician - so oily,
it's served with a doily- Have one?
TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never
know if it's going [bad word] 
LOVETT:
Try the friar.
Fried, it's drier.
TODD:
No, the clergy is really
too coarse and too mealy.
LOVETT:
Then actor
- [bad word] 
TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone.
 [bad word] again when you
have Judge on the menu...
TODD:
Have charity towards the world, my pet-
LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love
TODD:
We'll take the cus