Ya see, I'm Irish, but I'm not a leprechaun
You wanna fight, then step up and we'll get it on
You gotta right to the grill, I'm white and I ill
descendant of Dublin with titanic skill
I ducked and I swing, next thing your jaw's broken
Punk I ain't jokin', you can bet you'll be chokin'
On a fist full a nothin', meanwhile I'll be puffin'
On a fat [bad word] punk, you don't know the half
Tryin' to talk [bad word]  man, please don't make me laugh
These Irish eyes are smilin', I'm buckwildin'
The House Of Pain is pumpin', start jumpin'
Freak it, funk it, back seat junk it
If you can't get with it, you'll wind up sweatin' it
Then you'll get a beatin' just like an egg
It's so hard [bad word] when you've got a broken leg
But we can have [bad word] off, the House Of [bad word] off
We got the cake that you're tryin' to get a [bad word] off
The Irish style, the Celtic jazz
No one has it, just us that's it
If you try to take it, I got a big shileighly
I don't have dreads cause I shave my head daily
You call me a skin head, I call you a pin head
Yo, where you been man, just like the tin man
You got no heart, [bad word] the good part
I pick 'em, buck 'em, cut 'em up, and buck them down
No [bad word]  around
Home boy ya get clown like [bad word]  [bad word] me
You shouldn't play, and by the way
Top o' the mornin' to ya
 [bad word] 

(What's the hassle man?) Top o' the mornin' to ya [2x]
(Hey, are you givin' us a hassle man?)

Greetings, salutations
Peace to the nations of Zulu and Islam
Crack the bottle, rev the throttle
Put the gear in, now you're stearin'
Like Mario Antretti
So let me kick it, cause I can make a wicked
Noise like a [bad word]  his legs, my rhymes are like eggs
I'll keep layin' 'em, I'll keep sayin' 'em
This is the House Of Pain, we're far from plain
But we're not fancy, Ron and Nancy
So just say no, but I say go
Straight to [bad word]  I kiss and tell
So if you're a ho, all my friends know
What you gotta say, let's hit the hay
And have no delay, and yo, by the way
Top o' the mornin' to ya
 [bad word] 

Extra extra, read all about it
How could ya doubt it?
Now scream and shout it!
The House Of Pain soon will reign
Over the hip hop scene in white, gold, and green
I rip [bad word] and back flip like a Jedi
I roll with the groove and I'm smooth and you can bet [bad word] correct and get respect when I'm flowin'
Collecting my dough, I got you're girlfriend ho-in'
And how do I know that she's funk?
I know she's broke cause yo, the T's hung like a
Shetland pony, gettin' paid like Sony
So never ever try to play me out like a phony
Cause I can get real thick like a bowl of Malt-o-Meal
And by the way, top o' the mornin' to ya