[Dave]: 
If I could write you a song to make you fall in love 
I would already have you up under my arm 
I used up all of my tricks, I hope that you like this 
But you probably won’t, you think you’re cooler than me 

[Karkat]: 
You got designer shades just to hide your face and 
You wear them around like you’re cooler than me 
And you never say “Hey” or remember my name 
And it’s probably ‘cause you think you’re cooler than me 

Look at this felt suit and the tie ‘round your neck 
You’re a poser for sure and it ain’t cool 
Mirror shades don’t shield you at all 
I can see right to your core 

I got you all figured out 
You need everyone’s eyes just to feel seen 
Behind your facade, you’re afraid to be judged 
But you judge everyone 
Is your pedestal fun? 

[Dave]: 
If I could write you a song to make you fall in love 
I would already have you up under my arm 
I used up all of my tricks, I hope that you like this 
But you probably won’t, you think you’re cooler than me 

[Karkat]: 
You got designer shades just to hide your face and 
You wear them around like you’re cooler than me 
And you never say “Hey” or remember my name 
And it’s probably ‘cause you think you’re cooler than me 

[Dave]: 
You’re full of anger really nothing else 
And on my planet you’re called a midget 
And how are you supposed to be a fierce troll 
If your horns are one inch long 

I got you all figured out 
You act tough like a man but you’re a [bad word] 
Your insecurity reeks accross the room and 
How can I see who you’re really meant to be 

[Both]: 
And it sure seems you got no doubts 
And we both see you’ve got this quadrant picked out 

If I could write you a song to make you fall in love 
I would already have you up under my arm 
I used up all of my tricks, I hope that you like this 
But you probably won’t, you think you’re cooler than me 

You got designer shades just to hide your face and 
You wear them around like you’re cooler than me 
And you never say “Hey” or remember my name 
And it’s probably ‘cause you think you’re cooler than me