Oh, it's so nice to see you all inside my dreamy little world
And it's so nice to be with all you lovely little boys and girls
Make [bad word]  my place is so devine
Don't you think I'm wonderful? Say yes, you're on my time

Stay away
From Captain Howdy
Stay away
From Captain Howdy

Don't try to leave, the doors are locked and only I have got the key
Forget the windows, they're nailed shut and boarded up so you can't see
You'll love the light show, I'm sure you'll think it's swell
When they go off, you're [bad word] to my living [bad word] 

Stay away
From Captain Howdy
Just stay away
From Captain Howdy
 [bad word] here, my sweet
Let me help you with that
There, that's better

I'm overjoyed at all the games I'm playing here with you today
But I'm so sad the party's over and we can no longer play
You think you're going home to your own little bed
But that's impossible, you can't sleep when you're dead

Stay away
From Captain Howdy
Just stay away
From Captain Howdy