I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me
Well, a witch
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light
And made a switch
 [bad word]  Yes
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possesed
And here lately, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, lonely, and depressed-- Pathetic!
Poor unfortunate souls, in pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed!
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so [bad word]  [bad word] flocking to my cauldron
Crying spells, Ursula, please!
And I help them, yes I do
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em
'Cross the coals
Yes, I've had the [bad word] 
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it's much preferred
For ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear
What is idle prattle for? [bad word] on
They're not all that impressed with conversation
 [bad word] gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue
Who gets her man [bad word] on, you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead, make your choice
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much, just your voice
You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad, but [bad word] 
If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
You've got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul