Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through the high school days
Both members of the 4H club
Both active in the FFA
After graduation Mary Anne went looking
For a bright new world
Wanda looked all around this town
And all she found was Earl

Well it wasn't two weeks
After she got married that
Wanda started getting abused
She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses
And make-up to cover a [bad word] 
Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta
On a red eye midnight flight
She held Wanda's hand as they
Worked out a plan
And it didn't take em' long to decide

That Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
You're feeling weak
Why don't you lay down
And sleep Earl?

The cops they came to bring Earl in
They searched the house
High and low
Then they tipped their hats
And said "Thank you ladies
If you hear from him let us know"

Well, the weeks went by and
Spring turned to summer
Summer faded into fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
that nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land
And a roadside stand
Out on highway 109
and sell Tennessee ham
And strawberry jam
And they don't
Loose any sleep at night

Cause Earl had to die
Goodbye Earl
We need a break
Let's go out to the lake, Earl
We'll pack a lunch
stuff you in the [bad word]  Earl
Well is that all right
Good, let's go for a ride, Earl RIDE! 
Yeah