the sky isn't blue, and the ocean's not grand
 And string theory is easy to understand
 The grass isn't green, and the sun isn't bright
 Healthcare will be resolved overnight
 The world isn't round, and the Buddha's not Zen
 And we both have really good taste in men
 And there really is a Black Forest land
 Where everyone gets all their ham...

 And I swear, I [bad word] #39; swear
 I didn't Google you...

 Okay, I did, I admit it
 It was so easy to do
 7, 008 results
 And I know everything about you
 You're not a  offender
 But you failed home ec in 1997
 It really isn't that weird
 [bad word] on, we're all adults here...

 Everybody Googles each other
 Everybody does their Facebook research
 It's how we get to know one another
 To make sure that we don't get raped.

 I don't have any mental disorder
 And I don't spend my weekends watching "Law & Order"
 It takes forever to get in my pants
 This old-fashioned girl likes romance
 I am not fearful of being alone
 And Zack Morris had a really small phone
 Ring ring ring r-ring ring r-ring ring
 Cell phones in the '80s...

 And I swear, [bad word] [bad word] #39; swear
 I didn't Google you...

 Okay, I did, I admit it
 And I know that you Googled me too
 How else would you have known
 That my dog contracted herpes?
 Sing it again, 'cause this melody
 Feels really good to sing
 Stop pretending it's taboo
 Like [bad word] in the '50s...

 Everybody Googles each other
 Everybody does their Facebook research
 It's how we get to know one another
 To make sure that you're not in [bad word] 

 I do not mean to be jealous already
 But who is that girl in those pictures? She's pretty
 I think you may have dated her
 Or maybe she's your [bad word] friend
 I see that you got really [bad word] on your birthday
 Was it sadness-related, or were you just thirsty?
 I do not mean to make judgments now
 But if we date, some things will have to change...

 Everybody Googles each other
 Everybody does their Facebook research
 It's how we get to know one another
 To make sure that you don't have cats.