I'll tattle a tale that is terribly [bad word]  
Stated out as [bad word]  but suddenly grew. 
Andd it deals with a man, and a horse, and a ring. 
So settle on in and our song we shall sing. 

It happened one day in a ring by a farm 
Some that tragically brought us much harm 
How could a place abundant with charm 
Create such a beast with a spear for an arm. 

On death and [bad word] is what you will get 
When [bad word] for you and in your kilt you will wet. 
And he's big and he's strong and its quite plain to see. 
That this is the Tale of the Nukelavee. 

Nukelavee! Oh Nukelavee 
You're big and evil and heinous 
Who could it be who set you free? 
He really must be an [bad word]  

Oh Nukelavee it's easy to see 
the terror you leave is raining on me. 
The village is burned and the taverns are missed 
and the beer is all gone and the elders are [bad word]  

And if they ever should find the fool 
We'll hang him upside down by his tool 
And spin him around until he gets sick 
Ooh! Aah! Oh, that should do the trick. 

Nukelavee! Oh Nukelavee 
The terror you offer is high class 
Who could it be who set you free? 
He really must be a dumbass. 

Nukelavee! Oh Nukelavee 
The horror you furnish is widespread 
Who could it be who set you free? 
He really must be an ox-head. 

Now everyone knows no blood should spill 
In the sacred ring by the farm on the hill 
And if that ever happen the Death you should fear. 
He'l kick in your nuts and he'll server them with beer. 

So one final thought before I depart, 
And this my [bad word] straight from the heart. 
We'd all be fine if not for that bell 
And that horse killing [bad word] that opened up [bad word]  

Nukelavee! Oh Nukelavee 
We cannot win we must admit 
Who could it be who set you free? 
He really must be a dimwit. 

Nukelavee! Oh Nukelavee 
You're big and evil and heinous 
Who could it be who set you free? 
He really must be an [bad word]