I'm in a band with an Italian [bad word] and all the girls just fall in his lap
I'm in a band with an Italian [bad word] But for a foreigner he's quite a nice chap

He just cooks pasta, always faster
He smokes with his father, makes good carbonara
His [bad word] s too long to fit in this song
He shaves his legs and always thinks about 
His hands have blisters, don't [bad word] him with your sisters
He talks baloni and eats rigatoni
His name's on his sticks, he's got smelly armpits
And when he plays his [bad word] it sounds like this

He's really Italian, hung like a stallion
He never takes a rest from chasing [bad word] and legs
He hates Peter Criss but he still likes Kiss
And when he plays his [bad word] it sounds like this

"The characters described in this song are fictitious and
any similarity to real people living or dead is entirely
coincidental and unintentional"

He's really Italian, he's hung like a stallion
His [bad word] s too long to fit in this song
He shaves his legs, always thinks about 
His hands have blisters, don't [bad word] him with your sisters

He talks baloni and eats rigatoni
His name's on his sticks, he's got smelly armpits
when he plays his [bad word] ..

...do you know someone like this

I'm in a band with an Italian [bad word] I'm in a band with a foreign chap

"You know son, it's like this you see.
We met him down the pub one day and eerm...
he looked a bit of a geezer at the time.
Ha! It was only when we gave him a [bad word] saxophone
that he discovered he was a [bad word] [bad word] didn't he! [bad word] [bad word] 
So we got rid of his saxophone and eerm...
put these [bad word] there instead. And eerm...
he was a star really.
And there's nothing we can do about it really."

I'm in a band, in a band, in a band...

"Hey, are you [bad word] talking to me, aye?

Minchia! Minchia! Minchia! [bad word] se metti del
peperoncino nel culo di una porta che scoreggia nuvole di nero.
poi c'era una vacca... Io non ho capito che dice questo
ragazzo inglese... Non mi ricordo.

Ehi Vito, ma che [bad word] dice, eh?!
te l'ho detto, io non capisco una minchia questo
ragazzo straniero.

.. [bad word] talking to you, aye!!! Ah, think so!
Andate a  [bad word] !!"

 [bad word]  [bad word]  [bad word] 
It's like if you put some pepper in the [bad word] of a door
that farts black clouds.

And then there was a cow... I don't undestand what this
english boy is saying... I don't remember.

Ehi Vito, what does that [bad word] say, eh?
And I told you, I don't understand this stranger boy.

.. [bad word] talking to you, aye!!! Ah, think so!
 [bad word] off!!!"