(based on "Grandma [bad word] Over by a Reindeer", written in 1979 by Randy Brooks)

Harley got devoured by the undead

Walking down in some forgotten tomb.

You can say there's no such thing as zombies,

But that's how Harley Warren met his doom.

He'd been readin' lots of weird books, and I begged him not to go.

But he'd brook no procrastination to learn the [bad word] that mankind mustn't know.

When we reached the cemetery, with our lights and telephone,

He descended in the darkness and he left me waiting for him alone.

Harley got devoured by the undead

Walking down in some ol' wizards tomb.

You can say there's no such thing as zombies,

But that's how Harley Warren met his doom.

Well I waited and I waited for some word from down below.

And then ol' Harley started screaming, [bad word]  my God, now, Carter, go man go!"

So I stood alone in horror, paralyzed with fear and dread.

When a voice dead and inhuman whispered to me, "Oh, you fool, Warren's dead!"

Harley got devoured by the undead

Walking down in some ol' wizards tomb.

You can say there's no such thing as zombies,

But that's how Harley Warren met his doom.

Again I say, I do not know what has [bad word] of Harley Warren, though I

think - almost hope - that he is in peaceful oblivion, if there be anywhere

so blessed a thing. It is [bad word] that I have for five years been his closest

friend, and a partial sharer of his terrible research into the unknown. But

I must insist that I know nothing save what I have already sung.