Thomas:   Ahh!  Slugs again! 
Narrator: Yes, there were the slugs: babies, mothers and grandmothers, 
                besides enormous fat great-grandmother slugs, all eating away 
                at the juicy green leaves. 
Maria:      Oh Thomas, we must set some traps, some slug traps, and catch 
                them all. 
Narrator: Did those slugs walk into the traps?  No.  Not one.  They 
                just laughed their slimy laughs ... 
Slugs:       Hur hur, hur hur, hur hur, hur hur! 
Narrator: ... and went on eating the juicy lettuces. 
Maria:      Oh dearie me, what shall we do?  There'll be no lettuce left 
                when little [bad word] home. 
Thomas:   I know, I've got a good idea.  I'll shoot those varmints! 
Maria:      Thomas! 
Thomas:   I will!  I'll shoot 'em. 
Narrator: Thomas crept very carefully up to the lettuce and fired his 
                little gun. 
Thomas:   [pop! pop!  pop!  pop!] 
Narrator:  But did the slugs mind? 
Slugs:       Hur hur! 
Narrator:  No, not they.  They laughed more than ever in their slimy way ... 
Slugs:       Hur hur, hur hur, hur hur hur! 
Narrator: ... and they ate up all the peas, and then they turned about 
                and went on eating the lettuces. 
Maria:      Thomas, how are you getting on?  We shan't have any lettuce 
                left when [bad word] home! 
Narrator: They hopped sadly down the long passage into the kitchen of 
                their house. And then Maria had an idea ... 

[music] 

Narrator: The greedy slugs raised their heads to listen.  They waved 
                their fat bodies joyously and laughed their slimy laugh. 
Slugs:       Hur hur hur hur! 
                [singing] 
                Here is sweet music at our feast. 
                Here is sweet music while we eat. 
Narrator: And then they laughed again happily in their slimy way ... 
Slugs:       Hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur! 
Narrator: ... and went on eating lettuce leaves. 

[music] 

Slugs:         Hur hur hur! 
Maria:         [sobbing] There won't be even a nibble of lettuce when our 
                   little [bad word] home. 
Narrator:    Suddenly a voice called out, and [bad word] Tim, hopping and 
                   skipping and turning somersaults as he came towards his 
                   father and mother. 
Tim:            Hello, hello! I've brought a friend to see you. Ooh - but what's 
                   the matter? 
Maria:        [sobs] 
Thomas:    The slugs are eating all the lettuce, Tim. 
Tim:           Oh, is that all? My friend [bad word] has just been wondering if you'd have meat 
                  for supper, and I said we only had lettuces, didn't I [bad word]  
Mr [bad word]  Yes, Tim.  I think I can help you.  If you'd allow me, sir. 
                  Just watch me.  [whistles] 
Narrator:   He gobbled up the slugs faster than you could count - baby 
                  slugs, mother slugs, grandmother and great-grandmother slugs 
                  - before they had time to take to their slimy heels.  Maria 
                  and Thomas stood and watched in wonder at his huge appetite. 
Thomas:     Ho ho ho ho ho! [bad word] and have supper with us whenever you 
                   like, Mr [bad word] #33; 
Tim:            You'll always be [bad word]  Mr [bad word]  
Thomas:     Yes indeed! 
Mr [bad word]   [whistles]