Verse 1:
Hey there Keanu
It's about time that someone said it
But your picture makes us feel sad
God I hope that you read Reddit
Yes I do
Cause all my posts are just for you
I swear it's [bad word] 

Verse 2:
Hey there Keanu
Don't you worry about the pigeons
Have your lunch alone in sorrow
Boy that sandwich looks delicious
Close your eyes
Pictures of you are no surprise
This karma's nice

 [bad word] 
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's Reddit sympathy
'Whoa' is what you say to me
'Whoa' is what you say to me
It's what you say to me

Verse 3:
Hey there Keanu
I know times have been real hard
But with some upvotes from my friends
We'll steer that bus between the cars
We'll have it good
You know kung fu it's understood
I just got wood

Verse 4:
Hey there Keanu
My photoshop skills have no limits
If all the shops with cats I did of you
Would help to lift your spirits
I'd shop it all
I'd even shop you with Ron Paul
That park's too small

 [bad word] 
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's Reddit sympathy
'Whoa' is what you say to me
'Whoa' is what you say to me
It's what you say to me

Bridge:
You give so much with all your heart
Some motorbikes just for a start
But I'd work with you for very little pay
We don't need to stop this bus
There is no spoon what's all the fuss
And Mountain breeze is such a trippy name
Keanu I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The Reddit memes will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Verse 5:
Hey there Keanu
Eat your lunch and don't you miss me
One more week and we'll be done with you
Please don't think that we're unhappy but it's [bad word] 
Circlejerk won't know what's left to do
I can't imagine someone new
Hey there Keanu here's to you
This one's for you

 [bad word] 
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's Reddit sympathy
'Whoa' is what you say to me
'Whoa' is what you say to me
It's what you say to me