The Piccolo Song

Now life was quiet and serene for little Lucy Brown,
Until that day in May her eighteenth birthday came around.
Her pa said, "Guess what I have got you," she said, "I don't know."
He said, "I've been and bought you a brand new piccolo."

And it goes...

She said, "It's what I've always wanted, now I'll learn to play,
I'll practice in the attic when [bad word] home each day.
No more pubs and coffee bars, I promise I'll be good,
I'll be the only virtuoso in the neighbourhood."

And I'll go...

Lucy got so expert that she joined a ladies' band,
And off they went on tour to play in a far, far distant land.
They played before a native king and their music knocked him cold,
And to his slaves he cried, "Fill all their [bad word] with gold."

The girl who played upon the bass said, "Ain't I lucky chum?"
And sheer delight spread o'er the face of the girl who played the [bad word] 
But life if full of heartache, and life is full of woe,
And life is very hard for a girl who plays a piccolo.

And goes...

Later they were summoned to play before the prince,
But he had no ear for music and their playing made him wince.
He hollered, "Sieze them!" and before the girls could grab their coats,
He shouted, "Get their [bad word] and shove 'em down their throats!"

The girls who played the bass and [bad word]  they quickly said, "Oh no! [bad word] as large as ours really just won't go."
But life is full of heartache, and life is full of woe,
And life is very sad for a girl who plays the piccolo.

And goes...

Lucy now exhibits in a side show at the fair,
'Cause every time that she breathes out she plays a lively air.
And [bad word] from miles around to crowd into the tent,
And watch poor Lucy jiving to her own [bad word]