Will:
I wanna tell you a story
About the house-man blues 
 [bad word] home on Friday
Had to tell the landlady I'd-a lost my job

Coach Beiste:
Uh um
She said, that don't confront me, 
Long as I get my money next Friday

Will:
Now next [bad word] I didn't get the rent 
And out the door I went

Both:
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

Will:
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when, 
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin 
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose, 
Need me a triple shot of that juice 
Gonna get [bad word] don't you have no fear 
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer

Both:
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer, HAH!

Coach Beiste:
I ain't seen my baby since the night before last
Gotta get a drink man I'm gonna get gassed 
Gonna get high man I ain't had enough
Need me a triple shot of that stuff 
Gonna get [bad word] won't you listen right here
I want one bourbon, one shot and one beer

Both:
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
(Will: I want all that!)

Will:
No I ain't seen my baby since a nigh' and a week
Gotta get [bad word] man till I can't even speak 
Gonna get high man listen to me
One drink ain't enough Jack you better make it three
I wanna get [bad word] I'm gonna make it real clear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer

Both:
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer (Beiste: YEAH!)
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer (Will: C'MON NOW!)
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
(Will: Yeah baby, drinks on me!)