As I went out one morning
To breathe the air around Tom Paine's
I spied the fairest damsel
That ever did walk in chains
I offer'd her my hand
She took me by the arm
I knew that very instant
She meant to do me harm.

Depart from me this moment
I told her with my voice
Said she, But I don't wish to
Said I, But you have no choice
I beg you, sir, she pleaded
From the corners of her mouth
I will secretly accept you
And together we'll fly south.

Just then Tom Paine, himself
 [bad word] from across the field
Shouting at this lovely girl
 [bad word] her to yield
And as she was letting go her grip
Up Tom Paine [bad word] 
I'm sorry, sir, he said to me
I'm sorry for what she'd done