We like the Northern Hemisphere
That's where the strangest things appear
The conjurer takes off his head
Now watch him make it disappear
Recess of the torso, said the actress to the hero
Now watch him make it reappear

It's in the Western Hemisphere
That's where the nicest things appear
You even see a bird in flight
Flying 'round the diamond tree
Travelling incognito, said the actress to the hero
She has a longing to be free

There's a golden pleasure [bad word] in every home
You see the strangest things in the Northern Hemisphere
And Ollibute the gnome, tries entering the phone
He's waiting for a call from the upper atomosphere

You know the Southern Hemisphere
That's where the warmest things appear
In tiny islands in the sun
Some people make it their career
Please straighten my kimono, said the actress the the hero
High in the upper atmosphere