STEWIE/BRIAN: (singing) 
“We’re off on the road to Rhode Island. We’re having the time of our lives.”

STEWIE: Take it, Dog!

BRIAN: (singing) 
“We’re quite a pair of partners. Just like Thelma and Louise. 
‘Cept you’re not six feet tall.”

STEWIE: (singing) “Yes. And your [bad word] don’t reach your knees.”

BRIAN: Give it time. 

(THEY START DANCING)

BRIAN/STEWIE: (singing) “We’re off on the road to Rhode Island. We’re certainly going in style.”

BRIAN: (singing) “I’m with an intellectual who craps inside his pants.”

STEWIE: How dare you! (singing) “At least I don’t leave urine stains on all the household plants.”

BRIAN: Oh, pee jokes.

BRIAN/STEWIE: (singing) “We’ve traveled a bit and we’ve found, like a [bad word] in Newport, we’re Rhode Island bound.” 

BRIAN: Crazy travel conditions, huh?

STEWIE: First class and no class.

BRIAN: Whoa, careful with that joke. It’s an antique.

BRIAN/STEWIE: (singing) “We’re off on the road to Rhode Island.”

(THEY TRY ON VARIOUS COSTUMES)

BRIAN/STEWIE (CONT’D): (singing) “We’re not gonna stop till we’re there.”

BRIAN: Maybe for a beer. (singing) “Whatever dangers we may face, we’ll never fear or cry.”

STEWIE: That’s right. (singing) “Until we’re syndicated, Fox will never let us die.” Please?

BRIAN/STEWIE: (singing) “We’re off on the road to Rhode Island. The home of that old campus swing.”

BRIAN: (singing) “We may pick up some college girls and picnic on the grass.”

(STEWIE’S DRESSED AS CHEERLEADER)

STEWIE: Mm-hm. (singing) “We’d tell you more, but we would have the censors on our [bad word] ”
BRIAN: Yikes!

(THEY’VE CHANGED TO HATS AND CANES)

BRIAN/STEWIE: (singing) 
“We certainly do get around. (talking in unison) Like a bunch of renegade Pilgrims who were thrown out of Plymouth Colony (singing) we’re Rhode Island bound. (talking in unison) Or like two college freshmen who were rejected by Harvard and forced to go to Brown (singing) we’re Rhode Island bound.”