What a drag it is getting old
"Kids are different today"
I hear every mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She [bad word] for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day

"Things are different today"
I hear every mother say
Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak
And [bad word] for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day

Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Men just aren't the same today"
I hear every mother say
They just don't appreciate that you get tired
They're so hard to satisfy, You can tranquilize your mind
So [bad word] for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And four help you through the night, help to minimize your plight

Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Life's just much too hard today,"
I hear every mother say
The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
No [bad word] for the shelter of a mother's little helper
They just helped you on your way, through your busy dying day