Have a banana, Hannah, 
Try the salami, Tommy, 
Give with the gravy, Davy, 
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house! 

Try a tomato, Plato, 
Here's cacciatore, Dorie, 
Taste the baloney, Tony, 
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house! 

I fix your favorite dishes, 
Hopin' this good food fills ya! 
Work my hands to the bone in the kitchen alone, 
You better eat if it kills ya! 

Pass me a pancake, Mandrake, 
Have an hors-d'oeuvre-y, Irvy, 
Look in the fendel (?), Mendel, 
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house! 

Hannah! Davy! Tommy! Dora! Mandrake! 
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house! 

Pastafazoola, Talullah! 
Oh, do have a bagel, [bad word]  
Now, don't be so bashful, Nashville, 
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house! 

Hey, this is a party, Marty, 
Here, you get the cherry, Jerry, 
Now, look, don't be so picky, Micky, 
'Cause everybody eats when [bad word] to my house! 

All of my friends are [bad word]  
Don't make me coax you, moax you, 
Eat the tables, the chairs, the napkins, who cares? 
You gotta eat if it chokes you! 

Oh, do have a knish, Nishia, 
Pass me the latke, Macky, 
Chile con carne for Barney, 
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house! 

Face! Buster! Chair! Chops! Fump! 
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house! 

Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house!