I've been to [bad word]  I spell it...I spell it DMV
Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
Stood there and I've waited and choked back the urge to scream
And if I had my [bad word] I'd [bad word] a chimpanzee-call it pointless

When I need relief I spell it THC
Perhpas you may know vaguely what I mean
I sit back and smoke away huge chunks of memory
As I slowly inflict upon myself a full lobotomy-call it pointless

Barbecues, tea kettles, gobs of axle grease [bad word] a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese
Now, life's a bowl of bagel dogs, but there are unpleasantries
Cold toilet seats, dentist chairs and trips to DMV-call it pointless

I've been to [bad word]  I spell it...I spell it DMV
Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
I've stood in line and waited near an hour and fifteen
And if I had my [bad word] I'd [bad word] that chimpanzee-call it pointless