Well it was raining that December
I was turning 23
On my way to Hollywood via Tennessee
I was looking for adventure
I was hooked on L.S.D.
I was dreamin' bout the girls
That were goin' down on me

I'll just stay and spend the night
With you 'cause I know you ain't
Got nothing better to do

Well I was feeling pretty thin
It was lookin' pretty grim
Got a herd of hurdy gurdies
At the Rainbow Bar & Grill
Well she ain't too [bad word]  pretty
But she ain't my [bad word]  wife
As long as I don't end up
On the back side of her knife

I'll just stay and spend the night
With you 'cause I know you ain't
Got nothing better to do

So I hooked up with a band
Second baddest in the land
Eating sushi in Oklahoma
Smokin' green bud in Japan
But the wheels they keep on turnin'
20 people in the crowd
But I love to hear 'em scream
When we're bringin' down the house

I'll just stay and spend the night
With you 'cause I know you ain't
Got nothing better to do