Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd [bad word] more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he stumbled into the grass to sleep beside the street
 [bad word] Ring ding diddlediddle ay de o, ring di diddly ay o
he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman
So strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's [bad word] what they don't wear beneath the kilt
 [bad word] Ring ding diddlediddle ay de o, ring di diddly ay o
I wonder if it's [bad word] what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman
Quiet as could be
And lifted up his Kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
 [bad word] Ring ding diddlediddle ay de o, ring di diddly ay o
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment
Then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show
 [bad word] Ring ding diddlediddle ay de o, ring di diddly ay o
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to natures call
And stumbled toward a tree
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt
And gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says
To what's before his eyes
Ach, lad I don't know where ya've been but I see ya won first prize
 [bad word] Ring ding diddlediddle ay de o, ring di diddly ay o
Lad I don't know where ya've been but I see ya won first prize