If i was your husband, i'd never let you go
You could bake me cookies, while i sit and watch sports 
Baby start the washer, i got dip on my shorts 
I'll be at the strip club, can you stay and clean the floor? 
Sweep. Sweep. Sweep. Thank you. 
Workin' on my car and gettin' a massage too
We can be so happy with our matching tattoos
The best thing is that they're both on your... [bad word] 
Pre [bad word] I'd like a beer, gimme a cold one. 
Hey hun, hand me the remote
 [bad word] If i was your husband, you could mow the lawn. 
I'd play with my Xbox, you'd play with my dong.
Share our love for power tools. Ya never say i'm wrong. 
If i was your husband, i'd never have to cook. 
I'd never have to cook. 

Verse 2
Tell me what you like, yeah i don't really care.
You want a guy like Justin Bieber, baby, i'm more of a player.
Buy you all these gifts, yeah the ones we need the most. 
Action figures, spark plugs, and a brand new toast..errrr. 
Husband, schmusband, i could be your husband.
And because we're married, i don't have to hold my farts in.
... breast implants, trampoline and a skirt.
This meal was pretty good, but where the **** is my dessert?
Quit nagging.

Pre [bad word] 
I'd like a beer, gimme a cold one. 
Hey hun, hand me the remote 
 [bad word] 
If i was your husband, you could mow the lawn.
I'd play with my Xbox, you'd play with my dong.
Share our love for power tools. Ya never say i'm wrong. 
If i was your husband, i'd never have to cook.
I'd never have to cook.

Bridge
Please iron my pants? Make a good crease, girl.
You're so easy to find, 'cause you're always in the kitchen.
Help me wipe my [bad word]  Please never leave me girl. 
Who would make my bed and shave my back? 
 [bad word] 
If i was your husband, you could mow the lawn. 
I'd play with my Xbox, you'd play with my dong. 
Share our love for power tools. Ya never say i'm wrong. 
If i was your husband, i'd never have to cook. 
I'd never have to cook. 

Naggy nag. Naggy Nag. Naggy Nag.
Naggy nag. Naggy nag. Naggy nag. 
Naggy nag. Naggy Nag. Naggy Nag. 
Naggy nag. Naggy nag. Naggy nag.