I had a friend which is [bad word] you know.
Oooh not much of a friend in the end.
That's how it goes I suppose.
friend like that in to telling me so no.
I never liked him that much,
I never hurt him so please Ooooh.
I had a girlfriend it's [bad word] you know,
Ooooh not much of a friend in the end.
She got? to go I suppose.
You know the kind that your friends all love?
I wasn't all that amused, I think I just had enough.

I gotta do is to be a better lover,
would you stick around with me?
And if all I gotta do is to be a better plumber,
could I break your toilet and see?
And if all I gotta do is spend my money without crying now,
Would you stick around with me?
And if all I gotta do is to be more like my brother.
Will you still remember me?

Yeah.

I had a friend which? is [bad word] you know
Not much of a friend in the end
That's how it goes I suppose.

I had a girlfriend once it's [bad word] and even
If I chucked that girlfriend in the end
Then that's how it goes.

I had a toupee too ooh
Not much of a toupee OK?
It never grows I suppose.
The glue is stinging my head is sore.
It was embarresing too
When I have gone to the door (or 'when I got chucked out the door')

I gotta do is to be a better lover
Would you stick around with me?
And if all I gotta do is to be a better plumber,
Could I break your toilet and see?
And if all I gotta do is spend my money without? crying now
Would you stick around with me?
And if all I gotta do is to be more like my brother.
Would you still remember me baby?

All I gotta do.
Ooooooh.
All? I gotta do.
Ooooooh.
Ooooooh.