Hello this is Dee Dee
You must be a nut
What do you want?
I'm gonna hang up

Please sir Please just one minute
Theres big trouble and you're in it
Your wifes at the Ritz with another guy
She's been drinking we think she's pretty high
We're all scared to death and we don't know what to do
We thought we better get a hold of you

Emergency
Calling Mr Dee Dee
Pick up your phone

Emergency
calling Mr Dee Dee
We know you're home
Pick up your phone

Shes always in trouble, cant take anymore
Put on my coat and I'm out the door
Lit up a cigarette and hailed a cab
I was soaking wet and boiling mad
She never gives me no damned respect
I've been good to her if I'm not correct
Bought her a fur coat and a pink Cadillac
Introduced her to my friends and she stabs me in the back

Emergency
Calling Mr Dee Dee
Pick up your phone

Emergency
Calling Mr Dee Dee
We know you're home
Pick up your phone

Now listen baby doll - you've been busted
I should have known that you can't be [bad word] 
That ain't your uncle and that ain't soda pop
I'm just about to blow my top
But Ill forgive you, you know I will
Get your coat while I pay the bill
Next time go shopping if you want a thrill
Now it's time for you to chill