Another family member died today. I'll have to miss work and all I can [bad word] write is "I". All I can say is "my". Please tell me how to feel. How am I so selfish? All you have to do is tell yourself to [bad word] stop. Lately I've been having this nightmare where I just can't seem to get to sleep. So do I continue mending the wings to a paper griffin, drinking from volcanoes and speaking ash or do I give in to the naked archer, straight forward and exposed? None of it matters at all. How much of what I'm saying is [bad word]  Do I even believe myself? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. All I can [bad word] write is "I". All I can say is "my". Please tell me how to feel. How am I so selfish? Asking this question only furthers my point. How are you? I don't care. Or do I? How am I so [bad word] selfish?